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chocolatepot) wrote2023-12-03 07:17 am
chocolatepot) wrote2023-12-03 07:17 am
A complex emotional journey
I've been making muslin sleeves to sew to quilts for an exhibition I curated, which will be on the walls for about two weeks. Ironically it has already taken me more than two weeks to do these sleeves and they're not even done, let alone sewn to the quilts. Though they're at least to the point where I just need to sew the long seams (I cut them across the grain and then pieced them when needed, so I could take advantage of selvages, so there was a lot of other sewing. And of course the ironing) and then of course attach them to the quilts.
Have been going through a bit of a whatever-fraction-life-crisis lately, worried that I'm wasting my life, never finish any impressive projects, oh my god my job is so pathetic (this was the major spur to the crisis, a collections colleague is leaving, which I was going to take as an opportunity to ask to be director of collections since their successor would probably need more direction, but she told me that the president is planning to give the recently-promoted, 30(?)yo associate curator another promotion to be THE curator and also be in charge of collections) and I started contemplating going off as a freelancer. But then I also started wondering about trying to get the 18thc pattern book published again, because now Regency Women's Dress has earned out its advance, and in looking into my inbox to see who said what about it, I found that the fashion editor at Bloomsbury Academic had actually discussed some major revisions to my proposal with me to make it a more substantial and scholarly book, and was awaiting a revised version AGES AGO but then I got sidetracked with musicals and fucking covid and COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT. So uh ... I'm going to try to work on that. Deeply embarrassing, though.
(It is helpful, at least, when I go through these crises now, to be able to say "this is emotional dysregulation" and such. Rather than thinking either that the world is ending or being able to correctly attribute it to my perception but then just going "oh I'm broken and messed up and stupid I guess.")
(Emotional dysregulation gets the self-mocking Tamaki Suoh icon.)
Turning the heel of the second sock. Taking a break right now to write this.
JanuAUry fic statuses: 1900s female impersonators - DONE; Ladyhawke AU - basically done but I need to go back and fill in a few holes; advice columns based on AITA post - DONE (short and silly); Regency f/f AU version of the dinner with Mary and Anne - in progress; f/f 1930s burlesque AU - outlined but not started; diary fic based on AITA post - still not sure if I'm even going to write it tbh; AU where Ed came to find Stede in the forest - DONE
I've been using the new DW update page, and tbh I like it. Not much different but just a bit more modern.
Have been going through a bit of a whatever-fraction-life-crisis lately, worried that I'm wasting my life, never finish any impressive projects, oh my god my job is so pathetic (this was the major spur to the crisis, a collections colleague is leaving, which I was going to take as an opportunity to ask to be director of collections since their successor would probably need more direction, but she told me that the president is planning to give the recently-promoted, 30(?)yo associate curator another promotion to be THE curator and also be in charge of collections) and I started contemplating going off as a freelancer. But then I also started wondering about trying to get the 18thc pattern book published again, because now Regency Women's Dress has earned out its advance, and in looking into my inbox to see who said what about it, I found that the fashion editor at Bloomsbury Academic had actually discussed some major revisions to my proposal with me to make it a more substantial and scholarly book, and was awaiting a revised version AGES AGO but then I got sidetracked with musicals and fucking covid and COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT. So uh ... I'm going to try to work on that. Deeply embarrassing, though.
(It is helpful, at least, when I go through these crises now, to be able to say "this is emotional dysregulation" and such. Rather than thinking either that the world is ending or being able to correctly attribute it to my perception but then just going "oh I'm broken and messed up and stupid I guess.")
(Emotional dysregulation gets the self-mocking Tamaki Suoh icon.)
Turning the heel of the second sock. Taking a break right now to write this.
JanuAUry fic statuses: 1900s female impersonators - DONE; Ladyhawke AU - basically done but I need to go back and fill in a few holes; advice columns based on AITA post - DONE (short and silly); Regency f/f AU version of the dinner with Mary and Anne - in progress; f/f 1930s burlesque AU - outlined but not started; diary fic based on AITA post - still not sure if I'm even going to write it tbh; AU where Ed came to find Stede in the forest - DONE
I've been using the new DW update page, and tbh I like it. Not much different but just a bit more modern.