ugh ugh ugh

I was ... not "really into" but "okay with" this job at first, when the manager was training me on cake decorating, but she's been on vacation and I've been working with the assistant manager on bagging/baking bread and rolls and she's a PitA. The manager is just more personable, she made sure I didn't feel rushed or confused - the assistant manager keeps walking away while she's talking (so I miss what she's saying), she doesn't have the patience, and from the start of training me she was giving me long lists of verbal instructions, so basically I just feel frustrated and stupid all the time. She also responds to mistakes in a more "now we have a problem" tone of voice while the manager was like, "hey, it's okay." So basically I hate it and try to convince myself all shift that because a) there's very little customer interaction and b) we're making/selling things that people actually consume, it's worth it, but I hate it. Which gets me all fired up to apply to jobs but of course there are no jobs to apply for.

There is a thing I'm thinking about (not the interview I flubbed, I'm pretty sure I did in fact fuck that up and I'm not going to hear back from them) but I'm not going to talk about it because when I talk about things I jinx them. But I do have one more iron that hasn't been thrown off the fire/melted beyond repair).

People were talking about Chanel's Nazi connections in the FIT Facebook group and it warmed my heart, it did. Someone was really scathing about her and wow I am way to emotionally involved with people knocking down Chanel but it was great to read. They were meaner about her not being The Greatest Designer of All Time than I am, too.

People I know are starting to do the ice bucket challenge and I'm getting nervous that they'll nominate me. D: I can't handle being videotaped anymore.

Just read this post and the comments and am back to being depressed because she has a job and I don't.