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I'm absurdly sensitive to criticism and being judged or disliked, and so I'm constantly watching the people around me to gauge what they're doing and how they're feeling about me. If a person is usually positive towards me, I'm relaxed and calm, though somewhat anxious to keep on their good side, but I'm not constantly checking on them and worrying about where they are and what their face looks like etc.. If a person is generally negative, I try to avoid them as much as possible (move out if I live with them, quit if I work with them) and sometimes have some kind of a breakdown. But when they can't be relied upon to be solidly one or the other, I am just stressed all the time trying to watch them and respond correctly in order to avoid unpleasantness.
Which is how today and yesterday were at work with the assistant manager. It's not that she's constantly critical, it's that I can't tell when she's going to be and so I'm on high alert the whole time. "She's telling me a totally irrelevant anecdote about a neighbor, yay, I'll do the listeny-face and smile so she feels a bond from socializing and then when it turns out I've done something stupid because I was never told the right way she'll tell me in an easier way!" Only she doesn't. At least she isn't nicer to other people than to me - she does socialize with them more, likely because they do expressions and responses more naturally, but when they've done something minorly wrong or careless she's just as quick to seriously/condescendingly tell them about it and tell everyone else. That's another thing I get all anxious about, because she does it all the time, especially if the person who messed up is not right there for her to tick off.
The newest associate is on my no-fly list even though I only met her once. I was using the last of the powdered sugar in the shaker on some cannoli, and since I didn't know where to refill it and the AM was away it was a bit sparse. I self-deprecatingly said to her that they looked a bit sad, and she gave me this odd response that "I would say it's a poor attempt - I mean, I wouldn't want to put them out like that because I'm a perfectionist. You probably are too, because that's why we're working in this department." ???? What is your problem? Why would you say that to someone?
Which is how today and yesterday were at work with the assistant manager. It's not that she's constantly critical, it's that I can't tell when she's going to be and so I'm on high alert the whole time. "She's telling me a totally irrelevant anecdote about a neighbor, yay, I'll do the listeny-face and smile so she feels a bond from socializing and then when it turns out I've done something stupid because I was never told the right way she'll tell me in an easier way!" Only she doesn't. At least she isn't nicer to other people than to me - she does socialize with them more, likely because they do expressions and responses more naturally, but when they've done something minorly wrong or careless she's just as quick to seriously/condescendingly tell them about it and tell everyone else. That's another thing I get all anxious about, because she does it all the time, especially if the person who messed up is not right there for her to tick off.
The newest associate is on my no-fly list even though I only met her once. I was using the last of the powdered sugar in the shaker on some cannoli, and since I didn't know where to refill it and the AM was away it was a bit sparse. I self-deprecatingly said to her that they looked a bit sad, and she gave me this odd response that "I would say it's a poor attempt - I mean, I wouldn't want to put them out like that because I'm a perfectionist. You probably are too, because that's why we're working in this department." ???? What is your problem? Why would you say that to someone?
